WE head for Roots Hall this afternoon desperate to turn results around and end what has certainly been probably one of the most testing periods of my career.

I am still in love with football, still obsessed by it.

But our start to the season has been really tough for all of us to take and I completely understand why the fans have been hurt so much.

I can assure you that we feel it just as deeply.

I am surrounded by some fantastic people, but a football club is a horrible place to work the morning after you lose.

Everyone has had a sleepless night, and that’s the office staff as much as the players because we all care just as much about what happens.

So you have to face each other, accept that we have all been hurt, and then you have to move on as quickly as possible to try to be positive and look forward to the next match.

By Thursday we had talked the Luton game through and by Friday we were all focused purely on getting a win at Southend today.

Roots Hall is a tight ground where the fans are right on top of the pitch and in Chris Powell they have a fantastic manager who is doing a really good job.

It is going to be a test for us, but you know what, maybe right now what we need is a challenge like this.

Why not go there, roll our sleeves up and give it our all?

One win gets us going again. Why not make it happen this afternoon?

I will stand there on the touchline, proud to do my job and proud to be in charge of this team.

We will have to do it without Shandon Baptiste through suspension.

In the long run he will learn plenty from his red card in midweek.

But Simon Eastwood is a week nearer to a return, Samir Carruthers is close to a start and Marcus Browne was due to train yesterday so we are getting people back and proper competition for places.

There is no doom and gloom, just our usual professionalism, total commitment and a genuine togetherness that we know will pull us through this little period and see us climbing up the table.

I WENT across to Thame United on Thursday night to watch our under 23 side take on Swansea City.

What a fantastic result for them to win 1-0 and I congratulate all of our youngsters for the way they played.

I also want to praise Dan Harris, Les Taylor, Chris Allen, Leon Blackmore-Such, Chris Hackett – every one of them works so hard with our young players.

Swansea have invested and built their academy programme over the last few years while we are in the first year of having a dedicated under 23 team.

It is going to take time but I think a thriving academy is essential for any successful club.

It is all about the long term future, and Thursday night felt like an important step forward in that development.