The widower of a post office operator who took her own life has spoken of his anguish and why he believes he should be compensated.

The scandal saw hundreds of sub-postmasters wrongly convicted of stealing after faulty Fujitsu accounting software made it appear as though money was missing at their branches.

Stephen Holt said he had been 'retraumatised' by watching ITV drama Mr Bates v The Post Office and 'saddened' by seeing the huge number of post office operators who had suffered in secret. 

Oxford Mail: Dawn Holt

Although his wife Dawn was not wrongly convicted or lost her livelihood, anxiety about her work at the Faringdon Post Office, which she ran for four years, contributed to her decision to end her life.

Mr Holt, who lived in Carterton, said: "From Faringdon, very often on a Wednesday night she would ring me – they called it the balance night.

"She used to say to me, I'm going to be late I’m having a job trying to balance Horizon."

Her suicide note read: “I am very sorry for putting you all through this, but no longer can I cope with life. The pressure at the Post Office over the last few months.

"I know you will all say I took the easy way out, but I could not think of any other options. I am so sorry.”

Her ‘Branch Visit Agenda’, which stated what was good about the branch, and what needed improving, detailed on-going issues, and said Mrs Holt was £36,000 below the £200,000 target on foreign currency transactions.

“When I used to get up in the middle of the night she would still be awake and said she was worried about losing her job because of it," he said.

"It’s not clear cut. The coroner put work-related problems, but she also had depression. But friends have said, well she would be depressed if she had work-related problems."

In April 2009 Mrs Holt, 50, downed a lethal cocktail of drugs and alcohol, and was found dead in her car outside Carterton Health Centre in Alvescot Road with the letter on the passenger seat.

Mr Holt, her husband of 30 years, recalled: "One Sunday, she told me she was going up to the shops and she didn’t return.

"That afternoon I went all round the town, looking in shop car parks wondering where she’d got to, panicking because it was getting late."

Mr Holt suffered a nervous breakdown, but once he recovered he began to demand answers from the Post Office.

He said: "When my wife died [former head of the Post Office] Paula Vennells did speak to me once or twice on the phone. I didn’t know at that point in time that she was also a Church of England minister.

Oxford Mail: Stephen Holt

"In all my anger, I wrote to Lambeth Palace and said I wanted to see her sacked as a minister.

"You can't be a priest with those morals. But they didn't reply. It took until 2021 for her to step down as a priest."

Ms Vennells is expected to give evidence at the public inquiry later this year. 

He added: "I saw David Cameron and he spoke to me for three quarters of an hour, and just recently on the TV he said he wasn’t aware of any trouble with the post office.

"I saw him at his constituency office in Witney in January 2010."

Lord Cameron, MP for Witney from 2001 to 2016, also visited Pete Hiscock, who was suspended from his post office in Charlbury after an audit picked up an error,  in 2009.

The Foreign Secretary, who was PM from 2010 to 2016, has insisted he cannot recall “in any detail” being briefed about the Horizon scandal while he was prime minister.

But he recently apologised on Sky News for not having done more at the time to resolve it.

Mr Holt, who is registered disabled and can not work, feels he should be compensated for the pain he has suffered.

He said: "I was absolutely incapable of anything. I tried to take my life. I was in a very bad way, the shock of it all was dreadful.

Oxford Mail: Media outside the Post Office public inquiry at Aldwych House on Thursday

"I lost my marriage, and I’ve been on my own for 14 years. I’ve got a severe disability as well. It’s destroyed my life really."

Whether Mr Holt is entitled to compensation will depend on several factors, but he said he now fully intends to pursue a claim.

A spokesperson for the Department of Business and Trade told the Oxford Mail: "Any compensation is paid into the estate of the person who died so as long as Stephen is part of that estate he should be able to get compensation.

"It would have to go via the estate as family members are not directly eligible for compensation."